I look up at the cloudless sky.
The wind gently strokes my cheeks.
I slightly hear restless cars go by.
Passing people almost missed,
With no sight of them at the close of a door.
Is that what this world's all about?
As fast as someone's in your life,
Suddenly they're out.
Suddenly they're out.
The way this is written, its almost like it has a rhythm to go with it. I don't really understand line 4. What exactly does that line mean? Other than that, its very clear and written beautifully.
ReplyDeleteI really like the last two lines and how its practical to relate to life. Im not fully sure what line four is about, but I really like it what you wrote.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used what you hear and saw to write. What i really liked was how you used the question to close your writing.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good piece. The only problem is that it left me feeling confused. I wasn't sure what the point was.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used metaphor to describe the "passing" of people throughout life. The short length and simple yet descriptive phrasing also work well to your advantage. :)
ReplyDelete